All wrapped up in silliness

I am actually in favour of a change in our national school uniform design.

My kids are wearing the same kind of clothes I wore to school more than 20 years ago, and that ought to be enough reason for the fashion police to make an arrest, don't you think? ;)

And someone from an association I've never heard of before (until this came out in the news) thinks our school uniforms are too sexy for our young sirens, oops I mean girls.

National Islamic Students Association of Malaysia vice-president Munirah Bahari's wise quips:

"The white blouse is too transparent for girls and it becomes a source of attraction. This could see them getting molested, having pre-marital sex and all sorts of things. It becomes a distraction to men, who are drawn to it, whether or not they like looking at it."

"All this leads to babies born out of wedlock and to an extent, even prostitution."

"This is the source of the problem, where we can see that schoolgirls themselves are capable of using this to attract men to them."

Can someone file a police report for slander against men in general and our schoolgirls in particular?

Or should we just give in to this fear mongering and redesign our school uniforms to look like this:-

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Look Ma! No Whites!!

Darn funny folks

I'm so tickled by this picture. That garland Lim Guan Eng wore with the red flowers so strategically placed. He sure had his tits and crotch well covered!!!


Vaisakhi wishes: Lim and his wife Betty Chew greeting DAP chairman Karpal Singh at the Gurdwara Sahib in Penang on Monday. (The Star, Tuesday 15 April 2008)

HAPPY VAISAKHI, Saudara Karpal Singh! May the new year bless you with good health and much happiness.

Manglish as they are spoken

And the world thought Manglish is all about punctuating our sentences with "lahs".

" ... Correct, correct, correct, correct, correct. Right, right, right. Correct. Ah. Ah. Right! Susah. You see he has now asked for six Court of Appeal judges, so that he can put his men before he retires.

Correct, correct, correct, ah, and then, ah, ah, correct, correct, correct, correct, correct. ..."

" ... Okay, fine, fine, fine, fine. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Right, okay, okay. Ah. Ah. Correct, correct. ..." (From the Lingam tape transcript)


"... I commend yo-yo-your journalists trying to project… to exaggerate more than what actually happened. That-that-that-that’s it. We are not the-the and I-I congratulate your journalists behaving like an actor, that-that’s it ..."

"... You-you-you-you are here with the idea, you are trying to project, what is your mind! You think that we Pakistan, we are Burma, we are Myanmar. Everything you-you are thinking! ..."

"... Ya ya we are not like you! ..."

"... People do-do… of course they protest. We are allowing them protest, and they have demonstrated. But we just trying to disperse them, and then later they-they-they don’t wanna disperse, but later our police compromise. ..." (From the Zam-Al Jazeera interview transcript)

Let's repeat ourselves one more time - ya ya ya Malaysia boleh boleh boleh boleh boleh !! *.*

Defining success

Three businessmen were discussing the definition of success and what it would mean for them to feel that they had "arrived".

The first one said, "I'd consider myself a success if I was summoned to 10 Downing Street, London, for a private consultation with the Prime Minister."

The second chipped in, "My definition of success is to be called to Number 10 for a private meeting with the Prime Minister, then the telephone hotline rings during our discussion and the Prime Minister ignores it."

Finally the third one gave his opinion, "No, you've both got it wrong! You're a success when you are in the middle of private talks with the Prime Minister, the hotline rings, he answers it and then says, 'It's for you!'"

Holy smoke!

A monk was walking in the monastery garden during a period of meditation. He encountered another monk who was smoking as he walked slowly along the path.

"Did you get permission to smoke during meditation?" asked the first monk.

"Yes, I was given permission."

"But I asked if I could smoke during meditation and was turned down!"

"You didn't phrase it properly. You asked if you could smoke during meditation. I asked if I could meditate while I smoked."

Pre-weekend joke

I noticed that some of my blog friends are feeling rather stressed out. They may be going through some personal challenges, in respect of their health, their jobs or relationships.

I hope their burdens will be eased soon and their hearts will be filled with peace and joy.

In the meantime, I dedicate a smile to them in anticipation of a blessed weekend.

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A high school boy was going out on his first date. His mother was trying to help him overcome his nervousness before he left. She said,

"John, both you and the young lady may be a little nervous on this first date. Be sure to put her at ease."

"How do I do that, Mom?"

"Compliment her on something. That's always appropriate. It will relieve the tension and make her feel good."

After the dance, as John drove the young lady home, he suddenly realized that he hadn't remembered to compliment her. He racked his brain for something nice to say. Finally, it came:

"Gertrude, for a fat girl you sure don't sweat much."

A joke

An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida.

His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send her a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he'd written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory.

Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything's prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
P.S. Sure is hot down here.

Tither titter

There were two men shipwrecked on an island. The minute they got onto the island one of them started screaming and yelling, "We're going to die! We're going to die! There's no food! No water! We're going to die!"

The second man was propped up against a palm tree and acting so calmly it drove the first man crazy.

"Don't you understand?!? We're going to die!!"

The second man replied, "You don't understand; I make $100,000 a week."

The first man, dumbfounded, looked at him and asked, "What difference does that make? We're on an island with no food and no water - we're going to DIE!!!"

The second man answered, "I make $100,000 a week, and I tithe ten percent. My pastor will find me."

A wedding, how nice!

Wedding bells are in the air! How nice!

I love weddings. My spirit skip and dance at the sight of so many happy faces gathered together to celebrate the union of two people in love. And then, there's always the food and drinks to go with the merry occasion. What's not to like about weddings, right?

So, I'd like to congratulate Pak Lah and his new bride on the occasion of their union this coming weekend. May they both enjoy many blissful years of togetherness.

Really, I find it amusing that there is a certain coyness to the announcement of this happy news. Maybe the groom is feeling nervous, heheh!!

Since we're all in a happy mood, I'd just add on a little more happiness to your enjoyment of this short post by sharing a little joke below.

Have a nice day! :-)

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A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a dozen boys, all of them apparently between ten and twelve years of age.

They were surrounding a dog. Concerned, he went over and asked, "What are you doing with that dog?"

One of the boys replied, "He's an old neighbourhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we've decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog."

Of course the reverend was taken aback.

"You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a ten-minute sermon beginning with, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie?" and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie."

There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "All right, give him the dog."

Doggone day

Mulla Nasruddin was playing cards with his dog.

A man looked, he was surprised - the dog was really playing. So he said to Nasruddin, "Nasruddin, you really have a strange and wise dog!"

Nasruddin said, "Not so - he is not so wise as he appears, because whenever he gets a good hand, he wags his tail. Not so wise as he looks!"

Have a hearty weekend!

I don't know whether it is writer's block or blog fatigue or whatever, but my mind has gone blank. Not necessarily depressed or anything, just that the desire to "talk" is right at the bottom of my list of things to do.

So, instead of letting this blog go stale on my last posting while I hibernate for a while, I'm recyling some jokes that's been sitting in the draft box for the longest time.

Hope you find it funny enough to put a smile on your face. Cheers!

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Two beggars found a motorcycle on the street - somebody had forgotten to take the key with him.

The motorcycle was there with a sidecar, so one tramp jumped on the motorcycle, the other in the sidecar, and they sped away bound for the next town.

After 15 minutes, the man who was driving looked at his friend.

The friend's face was absolutely red, as if he had gone mad, or as if he were dying. He asked, "What is the matter?"

The other said, "Slow down a little, because this thing has no bottom, and I have been running all the way!"

Taking a step back

"Words are the dress of thoughts
which should no more be presented in rags, tatters and dirt
than your person should."

Once four intimate friends promised one another to observe seven days of silence in quiet meditation.

On the first day all were silent, and the meditation went on as scheduled. But when night came, the oil-lamp they were using ran out of oil and started to flicker. A servant was dozing off nearby. One of them could not help but say to the servant: 'Fix the lamp'.

The second friend was horrified to hear the first one speaking. 'Hush,' he said, 'We are not supposed to say a word, remember?'

'Both of you are stupid. Why did you talk?' said the third.

Very softly, the fourth muttered, 'I was the only one who didn't say anything.'

Pundak

This is one brand new party that has got my toes tingling. I love their battlecry. I love even more their logo. No weighing the pros and cons of corruption, racism and bigotry. No shooting for the moon and the stars. Even the name is catchy, like a song that plays on and on in your head. This is -

PUNDAK

"Merdeka, Seterika, Kathrika"

Pazuzu for PM?

How would u like a J* B** meal?

You see, I didn't make this up, okay?

It appeared in an article published in the Starbiz section of the Star yesterday at page B11.

It was a write-up by their columnist Kathy Fong from Shanghai about Yum! Restaurants China strategic alliance and new business development director Vincent Choo and how he learned that perseverance would be rewarded when doing business in China.

It was reported that the fast food market in China is big and is growing. Mr Choo said that, “Competition is strong, but there is enough business for everyone.”

In fact, he claimed that people were queuing outside Yum!’s newly opened store in Sanya, Hainan province, recently. “It wasn’t just 10 or 20 people standing the line. The queue was like a mile long,” he said, stressing it was not an exaggeration. (and I believe him ... )

Choo also likens investing in China to travelling on a road full of potholes. “However, you would eventually reach your destination if you persevere and not make a U-turn,” he said.

And the last paragraph of the article raised my eyebrows.

Besides KFC, Pizza Hut and Taco Bell brands that are well known worldwide, Yum! group has developed a Chinese fast food brand Dong Fang Ji Bai, which serves local meals, a move to get a bigger share of the market. (and I can't believe this !!!)

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Ooooohhhhh ... don’t call me names, okay??? I just wanna cheer up Mave with this little posting. Wahahahahahaha !!!!

Lighten up

A doctor came to see a patient, a very ill woman.

He entered the room and after five minutes he was out.

He asked the husband who was waiting there, "Give me a cockscrew!" The husband was a little worried why a cockscrew should be needed.

But then, the doctor came out again after five minutes, perspiring, and he said, "Now, give me a screwdriver!"

The husband got very excited, but still kept silent - because the doctor knows what to do.

After another five minutes, the doctor was back again and he asked for a chisel and hammer. Then it was too much for the distraught husband who could not stand it any longer and he said, "What is wrong with my wife?"

The doctor said, "I don't know yet, because I have not been able to open my bag!"

Strictly for Calvin & Hobbes fans

I have loved clever cartoons since I was a small kid. Back then, I would save and save my daily school allowance just so I could buy the latest Charlie Brown & Snoppy books. And those imported books weren't exactly cheap but I didn't care. It gave me great satisfaction to see my collection grow. And I would just as studiously cut up the daily cartoon panels appearing in the local newspaper and paste them in my scrapbook. All these remain cherished memories of my youth and till today, they still occupy a treasured section of my collection of books & stuff.

And when I first came across Calvin & Hobbes, it rekindled the same kind of excitement I had felt for Charlie and his gang. I could not get enough of this precocious kid and his stuffed tiger. And when the strip was abruptly stopped by his creator, Bill Waterson, I was naturally disappointed. But we still get to read the exploits of Calvin & Hobbes in our dailies with the syndicated re-runs, which I am glad because they certainly spice up my day! And today I came across some news concerning Bill here which I would like to share with like-minded cartoon fans out there.

Cartoonists like Charles Schulz and Bill Waterson have brought much cheer and colour to my life and continue to do so whenever I pick up their books to lift up my spirits during quiet moments of reflection. It is amazing when simple words reflected in a few panels of well-drawn cartoons can do much to soothe the soul and bring understanding of the meaning of life to a deeper level. That is how much I have learnt from my connection with these cartoon characters. For that, I pay tribute to these two gentlemen for giving us two of the best cartoons ever published in the world.