Saturday, July 17, 2010

The hardest job in the world

Reading this post "I shall have Patience" by blogger mumsgather made me reminisce about myself.

She is a mother of two very young kids and I can relate to what is going on in her life right now.

Being a mother is a tough job. It is mostly under appreciated and if you have a less than appreciative husband, life is just one roller coaster of some highs and lots of extreme lows.

Being a mother can also drastically change your personality. It may not happen overnight, but it can insidiously creep up on you, silently .. slowly .. until one fine day, some years down the road when you unexpectedly caught yourself in the mirror and did a double take.

You look the same, more or less, but somehow different.

You try to pinpoint what it is that unsettles you. Mostly, at that moment, your focus will be on the things that you missed out in life and the things that you wish didn't find their way into your life - like those annoying habits you picked up over the years of trying to cope with the stress of being a perfectionist.

The more kids you have, the longer it takes for you to get through the endless cycle of trying to keep it all together, not just holding up but also to make a great success out of it so that all the sweat, tears, drama and fatigue make sense to you. You don't want just a clap on the back at the end of the day, you demand that there are hoots and cheers of congratulations, a shout out of a job well done!


Like her, I am still in the thick of things. However, I realise that a lot of times, there is no simple answer to our frustrations but it helps a lot to know how to be kinder and gentler to ourselves.

It is not about lowering expectations.

It is about accepting that some things are beyond us and perhaps if we just let it be, let go of it and watch from a distance, it might sort itself out eventually.

Some things just can't be hurried. I've learned this lesson over and over again for years. Sometimes it makes me laugh, sometimes it pains me.

And the funniest part is that I keep repeating the lessons every now and then. So what does that say about human nature? Why expect kids to be any different when we adults are so resistant to change as well?

That sobering thought is enough to make me slow down considerably. To find my rose-tinted glasses again and put them on so that I can re-trace some of the steps from the path that I have wandered off from.

I want to grow younger as I grow older. Because that is where all the fun stuff lies. Does it make sense to you?



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